This essay is a suicide note left by Eva smith/Daisy Renton.
This Is a note to explain to you why I have done this. I want to be with my family, the only people who actually care. I was brought up In a kind and caring environment far away from the city, evil murders and drunks. By the time you are reading this I will no longer be here, I will be in a better place with the rest of my family. If you didn’t already know I was pregnant then you do now. I Just didn’t want my child to be let into a world of such evil, it just wouldn’t have been right.
I am only protecting my baby from this evil world, I did not set out to ruder it I Just wanted to be able to look after and nurture for it in the best place in the world. I used to work at Brisling’s LTD but when I asked for a raise from 22. 6 to 25 shillings, Mr. Bubbling the owner of the factory fired me. I was then offered a job at Milliards. It was the best job I had ever had. I enjoyed it so much, I was able to look at all the expensive clothes, and imagine I was wearing them at a fancy ball or party.
I can even remember that one day a lovely young woman came in and wanted my help to find the perfect dress for her wedding. That was the last time that I worked in Milliards. I was fired again but this time there was no reason. To be totally honest I hadn’t been fired I might still of been alive today. So if you want to blame someone on me killing myself blame the owner of Milliards after all she Is the one that fired me for no reason at all. After Mallards I didn’t no where to go I looked around for a job for about 3 weeks until I final gave up.
I knew I had to support myself In some way so I started to Walt outside the Palace Bar every night hoping to get a Job and a fair amount of money for it. I can remember standing on the corner for a few nights nervous, and jittery I isn’t sure what to expect. I would just sit on the ground and hope that a nice guy would come up to me and offer me a Job but I knew it wasn’t going to work that way I would have to be over the top and show that I was better than all the other girls that were standing around that night.
It must have been about 8 weeks before I got a Job. I went Into the Palace Bar with a guy named Gerald. He treated me like he would treat his mum he was a real gentleman. He offered me a few drinks but I didn’t want them as I didn’t want to drink and then be unaware of what would happen later. I brought Gerald back to my room that night but he said to me this is not the way he we spent most of are time together. I loved him so much but then he decided to break off are relationship.
I felt really miserable after that I had no-one again so I decided to leave Brimley for a few months. While I was away I was trying to sort through my head what I was going to do when I got back. I was left with no choice but to go back to being a prostitute outside Palace Bar. I got back into things at the Palace Bar again so as to get as much money as I could. I was Just waiting around one night when this guy came up to me and took me by the and. He pulled me down one of the side paths and raped me.
He started to attack me when all of a sudden Gerald came out of no-where and pulled him off me. Gerald brought me home that night as I was really shaken. I was really ill for the next few weeks so I decided to go to doctors. I came back later that day to find that I would be bringing another life into this evil world and I was pregnant with my rapist baby. I had heard about this help group and I thought I would get in touch with but when I phoned the woman turned down my application. I then realized there was no point in living. Goodbye love Eva